Great Hockey Debates
In which we employ the Socratic method in an attempt to settle the issues that have long plagued hockey fans.
This Week?s Debate: Should we stay classy?
In Favor: Stay classy, player I don?t like!
Opposed: Oh, god, are you one of those hockey fans who says this all the time?
In Favor: Stay classy, team I don?t like!
Opposed: Stop that.
In Favor: Stay classy, fans who cheer for that team I don?t like!
Opposed: Please stop saying that.
In Favor: Stay classy, Opposed guy!
Opposed: We all saw Anchorman. It came out almost 10 years ago.
In Favor: Stay classy, people who saw Anchorman!
Opposed: Are you fundamentally capable of communicating in any way other than admonishing people to ?stay classy??
In Favor: Stay classy, people who ask me questions to which the answer is clearly ?No, I absolutely am not?!
Opposed: Look, you?re not even talking about class. You don?t even sound like you know what that word means. You?re just using a punch line from a movie as a catch-all rebuke for anyone who does anything that remotely bothers you.
In Favor: Stay classy, people who use the word rebuke!
Opposed: What does class even have to do with hockey in the first place? For 100 years, hockey was a sport full of hitting and slashing and stopping periodically to punch each other in the face, and fans loved it. Now suddenly we?re acting like everyone?s supposed to be wearing top hats and monocles, just because morons who can?t formulate an actual thought on their own saw a joke in a movie one time and decided to repeat it mindlessly whenever something happens that they don?t like?
In Favor: Stay classy, guy who talks in long paragraphs!
Opposed: SAY ?STAY CLASSY? ONE MORE TIME, AND I SWEAR I WILL STAB YOU!
In Favor: ?
Opposed: ?
In Favor: That escalated quickly.
Opposed: Much better.
The Final Verdict: Everyone who uses the word classy when complaining about anything NHL-related is an idiot, and you should send them a link to this post so they know it.