Depression and Anxiety
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Boston Leaf
New member
Bender have you ever tried meditation? I hear that works for some. I have ADD so I cant calm down enough for it. but know people whom it has helped
WalterSobchak
New member
Bender said:
I know you don't need to hear this, but screw her man! Don't let another human being ruin your life! Just another sad case in life these days of the selfishness that is enveloping society. If the almighty buck is her biggest concern, then let her move on, let her realise when she grows up that it won't matter at the end of the day. You can't take it with you when you pass away. Her loss man.
A great way to move on is to join a sports recreational league where women and men get to play together...plus you could end up meeting someone new, and you could eventually look back and think, that was the best thing that ever happened to me..
I don't know if you live in the GTA, but in Mississauga for instance, there is a recreation league called Average Joe Sports, and they are taking new applicants now, for fun sports which involve the fairer sex, like Dodgeball, Volleyball, Floor Hockey et al...
That's my suggestion.No need to wallow in the mire. She ain't worth it.
http://www.averagejoesports.ca/
BMan said:
The sad thing is I think you're right. She's a pampered only child. She got extremely lucky in her job and the pay difference between us allowed her a different lifestyle than myself - which I guess became a huge issue, as before she was kind, pretty selfless, would do anything for me and I guess that's the biggest shock is the complete 180 degree change in disposition. I guess her true colors came out when we moved in?
At the same time, the heart wants what it wants. I can't say for sure that its just money, could be that things just fizzled out.
I'll definitely look into that. The problem is I'll probably be moving back in with the rents to save up some cash against the student loan and save up money for a down payment on a place so once I make the jump to a better position I'll be able to pay for the place (to hell with paying rent).
You're right, this might be for the best. I'll try to take my mind off of it and focus on myself to get to where I want to be and know that there's a whole world of possibilities out there.
It just sucks knowing that 3.5 years of my life went down the drain, that her colors changed when we moved in. How do you move on from something like that and not worry that you'll get burned again?
Guilt Trip
Active member
Dude...I feel your pain. I was in a 9 year relationship, and was engaged when she decided things needed to be different. It took a while and yes your heart wants what it wants, but you need to think with your head. It's black and white...She doesn't want you anymore...Accept it, think about what, if anything you could improve, and take it to the next relationship. Also have some set goals on what you want from your next relationship. For me, I was ready to settle down. Being dumped turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I know this because I'm still in love with my next relationship, 23 years later.Bender said:
Best of luck to you....you will find someone who appreciates you, for you and what you are.
TheMightyOdin
New member
Rick said:
I want some of that stuff!
Wendel's Fist
New member
TheMightyOdin said:
That's the brilliance of the site. Making fun but you'll still click and buy and they get a kick back. I had no idea that skull shot glasses ever existed. That's just a damn good idea.
Sucker Punch
New member
TheMightyOdin said:
Ohmigod, I want ALL that stuff!
Peter D.
Moderator
Has anyone experienced their anxiety getting in the way while playing sports? Before, I had no problems. Now, I am so self-conscious about my anxiety that it brings on palpitations and doesn't allow me to play the way I used to.
For ball hockey, I had no problem running up and down the floor with any concern. Now, I barely run in fear my heart's going to explode. Also, in gym hockey, I used to have no problem playing goalie on a consistent basis as filler. The one time this year they asked me to do so, I got so claustrophobic in the equipment and felt my heart palpitating that I immediately stripped out of the equipment. I didn't even bother signing up for ice hockey this year fearing the worst if I were to over-exert myself.
I never had this problem before. I hate this. Some of the things I love doing most are being taken away from me by my own self.
For ball hockey, I had no problem running up and down the floor with any concern. Now, I barely run in fear my heart's going to explode. Also, in gym hockey, I used to have no problem playing goalie on a consistent basis as filler. The one time this year they asked me to do so, I got so claustrophobic in the equipment and felt my heart palpitating that I immediately stripped out of the equipment. I didn't even bother signing up for ice hockey this year fearing the worst if I were to over-exert myself.
I never had this problem before. I hate this. Some of the things I love doing most are being taken away from me by my own self.
Peter D. said:Has anyone experienced their anxiety getting in the way while playing sports? Before, I had no problems. Now, I am so self-conscious about my anxiety that it brings on palpitations and doesn't allow me to play the way I used to.
For ball hockey, I had no problem running up and down the floor with any concern. Now, I barely run in fear my heart's going to explode. Also, in gym hockey, I used to have no problem playing goalie on a consistent basis as filler. The one time this year they asked me to do so, I got so claustrophobic in the equipment and felt my heart palpitating that I immediately stripped out of the equipment. I didn't even bother signing up for ice hockey this year fearing the worst if I were to over-exert myself.
I never had this problem before. I hate this. Some of the things I love doing most are being taken away from me by my own self.
Sorry to hear that Peter. These anxiety phobia issues can really limit life. I just gave up driving. After 25 years of clean driving, I've had 2 at-fault accidents and 3 speeding tickets. I just can't concentrate on driving to the point that I'm now afraid to drive. That and my insurance has told me my rate would go up by $8000 this year...
So it's been almost a couple weeks since my girlfriend broke up with me and it's not getting any easier. I'm actually becoming a lot more self-destructive. I've been drinking almost every day of the week, with or without friends to deal with it. I'm close to chain smoking now too.
I hate to say it but I've basically become a wreck and the only time I'm happy is when I'm drinking. Which is actually kind of scary, because this is not how I operate normally.
I wish I knew how to handle this correctly.
I hate to say it but I've basically become a wreck and the only time I'm happy is when I'm drinking. Which is actually kind of scary, because this is not how I operate normally.
I wish I knew how to handle this correctly.
maplesyrup
New member
To heck with her, dude... In the near future, you'll find someone and think back and say, "man, did I ever take that last waaaay to hard." 
Sarge said:To heck with her, dude... In the near future, you'll find someone and think back and say, "man, did I ever take that last waaaay to hard."
Yeah, been there, and although she'll always have a place in my heart, I wasted 8 years of my 20's not being able to move on. Even ruined relationships afterwards cos every girl thought they were competing against this 'ghost' and they'd always be second place. Now that I think about it, boy was i being silly, and wasted the prime years of my life! there are a billion other women out there and you'll find one thats even more right for you. Hardest part is to know when to stop wading in misery, give it a little time and then just say 'Eff it, i'm going to be a man-whore!' for a little bit...indulgence is the best cure for a broken heart. Its kinda cliche, but it's true, when you're single and looking all sad and pathetic, no girl will touch you with a ten foot pole. After grieving just do the man-whore thing to get yourself back up.
Wendel's Fist
New member
I've been reading a book that I thought I'd mention here. I heard a guy named Joe Dispenza on a radio show a few weeks ago and I couldn't stop listening to the guy. I picked up his book and have had a hard time putting it down.
I've read a billion books on anxiety and depression but this is the first one I've ever read that actually explains scientifically, what's going on with your brain when you feel that way. It also explains how you can't get out of a rut because your subconscious mind is trained to bring you back to it. You know that great feeling you have for a couple of days when you try to think differently and then end up right back where you started? He explains it all very well by letting you know exactly what's happening inside your mind and body.
Anyway, it's a fascinating read and I thought I'd bring it up in case anyone was interested.
It's called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One.
You can pick it up on Amazon.ca............
http://www.amazon.ca/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938086/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332704891&sr=8-1
Or if you have a kindle, you can get it at the US Amazon site.........
http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-The-Habit-Being-Yourself/dp/1401938086/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332704400&sr=8-1
You can also check out the reviews for it on the American site. If you pick it up, trust me, you won't be disappointed.
I've read a billion books on anxiety and depression but this is the first one I've ever read that actually explains scientifically, what's going on with your brain when you feel that way. It also explains how you can't get out of a rut because your subconscious mind is trained to bring you back to it. You know that great feeling you have for a couple of days when you try to think differently and then end up right back where you started? He explains it all very well by letting you know exactly what's happening inside your mind and body.
Anyway, it's a fascinating read and I thought I'd bring it up in case anyone was interested.
It's called Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One.
You can pick it up on Amazon.ca............
http://www.amazon.ca/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938086/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332704891&sr=8-1
Or if you have a kindle, you can get it at the US Amazon site.........
http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-The-Habit-Being-Yourself/dp/1401938086/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332704400&sr=8-1
You can also check out the reviews for it on the American site. If you pick it up, trust me, you won't be disappointed.
AlmosGirl
New member
Bender said:
Sorry about this bender. Can you find a hobby you like? Join a gym, pickup a new sport or something to keep you occupied?
Just don't jump into a new relationship on the rebound. My BIL did this after his 1st breakup (high school sweetheart, all that) and ended up with the biggest b****h on the planet. Ended up married, a kid and divorced all within 2 yrs. Aside from his wonderful son, it was THE WORST 2 yrs of his life!
AlmosGirl said:
Definitely noted! I'm working on things that will keep me occupied right now, I was thinking of joining a beginners hockey program (played shinny but can't play well) and working on some music and all that.
It's just down the line when I'm ready I have absolutely no idea where to meet women with the same interests as myself. University was pretty simple, but being out of school and working all the time how would you even go about it? I'm not much of a club guy and the bar scene is very hit and miss. It also seems people don't hook people up anymore. When I was single last time absolutely none of my female friends would hook me up for reasons unknown.
It's funny because when I was dating my gf I felt like there were lots of single women out there, now most of the ones that were single at the time are taken. Bah.