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Nik Bethune said:
OldTimeHockey said:
Nik Bethune said:
hockey player acting like I was already pretty sure hockey players act like.

Hockey Players acting like people act.

I get what you're saying but it's silly to pretend like this isn't particularly prevalent in sports culture and young men specifically.

I wouldn't say it's prevalent more in sports any more than it is in generally male dominated areas of our world. I work in industrial areas and those comments aren't far off from what I hear most days of the week. I've also gotten quite a few messages in the past few years on social media that would insinuate fairly similar attitudes.

I'm not condoning it, just saying that it's not a sport problem. It's a people problem.
 
OldTimeHockey said:
I'm not condoning it, just saying that it's not a sport problem. It's a people problem

They're not mutually exclusive. It can be a problem within society as a whole and then be exacerbated if you take a bunch of young men and add money, fame and a general lack of accountability.
 
Highlander said:
To bad he has already made enough money to retire on.

I'd wager the majority of the people in this thread have made comments in their early 20's that, if made public at the time, would definitely regret. Only difference being it may not have been put on social media.

Not defending the player, but the holier than thou stuff is a bit much.
 
OldTimeHockey said:
Nik Bethune said:
OldTimeHockey said:
Nik Bethune said:
hockey player acting like I was already pretty sure hockey players act like.

Hockey Players acting like people act.

I get what you're saying but it's silly to pretend like this isn't particularly prevalent in sports culture and young men specifically.

I wouldn't say it's prevalent more in sports any more than it is in generally male dominated areas of our world. I work in industrial areas and those comments aren't far off from what I hear most days of the week. I've also gotten quite a few messages in the past few years on social media that would insinuate fairly similar attitudes.

I'm not condoning it, just saying that it's not a sport problem. It's a people problem.

If you think young girls talk any different I've got news for you.
 
This wasn't just one or two comments. This was an entire group chat that seemed to exist for the sole purpose of saying misogynistic bullcrap. If you think that's normal you're really just telling on yourself/your social circle.
 
CarltonTheBear said:
This wasn't just one or two comments. This was an entire group chat that seemed to exist for the sole purpose of saying misogynistic bullcrap. If you think that's normal you're really just telling on yourself/your social circle.

I have owned a retail business for 20 years that employs mostly young and mostly female. I have heard those conversations every Monday about the weekend's conquests for 20 years. It's not just a Male thing. It gets more forward by the year. If you dont hear those types of things on a fairly regular basis your group is probably more of an exception than the rule.
 
The guy is turning 26 in a couple weeks. That's not really "just a kid" territory.

And to Carlton's point, I certainly said and did a lot of dumb things when I actually was in my early 20's but by and large they didn't involve being crappy to other people. There's a pretty fair gap between thinking this is lousy behaviour and thinking that makes you above reproach.
 
Nik Bethune said:
The guy is turning 26 in a couple weeks. That's not really "just a kid" territory.

And to Carlton's point, I certainly said and did a lot of dumb things when I actually was in my early 20's but by and large they didn't involve being crappy to other people. There's a pretty fair gap between thinking this is lousy behaviour and thinking that makes you above reproach.

No one has justified it, just stating that it isnt that far out from the norm among young people.  Heck it's not that unusual at any age.  He has been outed as a douche and will pay a very heavy price.
 
Bates said:
Nik Bethune said:
The guy is turning 26 in a couple weeks. That's not really "just a kid" territory.

And to Carlton's point, I certainly said and did a lot of dumb things when I actually was in my early 20's but by and large they didn't involve being crappy to other people. There's a pretty fair gap between thinking this is lousy behaviour and thinking that makes you above reproach.

No one has justified it, just stating that it isnt that far out from the norm among young people.  Heck it's not that unusual at any age.  He has been outed as a douche and will pay a very heavy price.

I don't think anyone has the depth or breadth of knowledge to say what is or isn't the norm for people of any age. I would never presume that the Toronto living, NDP voting, Izakaya drinking people I've hung out with for my adult life represent "the norm" among people my age so I'm probably not going to do it with with OTH's industrial sites or your retail environment for people a bit younger than me. Humanity is big and varied and our narrow experiences of it aren't universal. There are monster truck fans and poetry readers and people who like both.

But even if it does represent a norm, I don't think it really matters. If 80% of people talk like this behind closed doors then I think the 20% who don't can call them on it without being "holier than thou" as was said.
 
Nik Bethune said:
But even if it does represent a norm, I don't think it really matters. If 80% of people talk like this behind closed doors then I think the 20% who don't can call them on it without being "holier than thou" as was said.

Yeah I didn't mean to suggest no one talks like this. When I read through all those screen shots I thought "wow this is garbage, nobody talks like this in the group chat I have with a dozen or so buddies". If someone else read through those screen shots and thought "yeah this seems pretty normal, my friends talk like this all the time" then well sorry but your friends suck. You can call me holier than thou all you want, I'd take it as a compliment.
 
If it?s normal and not good, it?s still not good and people should strive to do better. Standing still to look backwards all the time gets you nowhere or worse.
 
Nik Bethune said:
Bates said:
Nik Bethune said:
The guy is turning 26 in a couple weeks. That's not really "just a kid" territory.

And to Carlton's point, I certainly said and did a lot of dumb things when I actually was in my early 20's but by and large they didn't involve being crappy to other people. There's a pretty fair gap between thinking this is lousy behaviour and thinking that makes you above reproach.

No one has justified it, just stating that it isnt that far out from the norm among young people.  Heck it's not that unusual at any age.  He has been outed as a douche and will pay a very heavy price.

I don't think anyone has the depth or breadth of knowledge to say what is or isn't the norm for people of any age. I would never presume that the Toronto living, NDP voting, Izakaya drinking people I've hung out with for my adult life represent "the norm" among people my age so I'm probably not going to do it with with OTH's industrial sites or your retail environment for people a bit younger than me. Humanity is big and varied and our narrow experiences of it aren't universal. There are monster truck fans and poetry readers and people who like both.

But even if it does represent a norm, I don't think it really matters. If 80% of people talk like this behind closed doors then I think the 20% who don't can call them on it without being "holier than thou" as was said.

But if everyone else is doing it, that makes OK? Right?

edit: ^^^^^ what Herman said.
 
Nik Bethune said:
OldTimeHockey said:
I'm not condoning it, just saying that it's not a sport problem. It's a people problem

They're not mutually exclusive. It can be a problem within society as a whole and then be exacerbated if you take a bunch of young men and add money, fame and a general lack of accountability.

Sure it can be made by these young men that are sort of "famous"....My point is, it isn't exclusive to hockey. That is all.
 
CarltonTheBear said:
This wasn't just one or two comments. This was an entire group chat that seemed to exist for the sole purpose of saying misogynistic bullcrap. If you think that's normal you're really just telling on yourself/your social circle.

No one is saying it's ok, or "normal".

But it does happen on the regular.

This has nothing to do with age, fame, profession.....etc;

It has to do with society and what was considered "accepted" for so long. It was always ok for the creepy old guy to get the server to sit on his knee at the bar. It was always ok for the construction guy to yell comments at the woman walking by. And yes, it was pretty darn regular to hear talk about the conquests in the hockey dressingroom by not only NHL players, or junior players. It happened in peewee hockey, bantam hockey, oldtimers hockey, etc;

This never was "okay"..but it was kind of overlooked. That is changing. Some dicks haven't gotten the message. They will. Those 4 idiots just did.
 
https://twitter.com/KSensStats/status/1259148811940827136
At least one person out there in hockey believes this is proper hockey culture fun
 
OldTimeHockey said:
Sure it can be made by these young men that are sort of "famous"....My point is, it isn't exclusive to hockey. That is all.

I don't think anyone ever said it was. In fact the post of mine you're referring to explicitly says that saying it's particularly a problem within hockey is not saying it's exclusive to hockey.

And again, I think you need to recognize that your experiences aren't universal. What people like me and CtB are saying is that despite this sort of thing being commonplace in some environments you frequent, it's not in others and your perception of what was "okay" or accepted in society is more of a reflection of the parts of society you're familiar with than it is a grand, sweeping statement about society as a whole.
 

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