Depression and Anxiety
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Britishbulldog
Active member
AlmosGirl said:
I agree. This is a really good community.
S
Stebro
Guest
I never talk to my family about this..
S
Stebro
Guest
I just dont wanna be seen as some victim. I've had depression for over 10 years in a row now. And the doctors keep telling me I will get better and I don't believe them, and I don't trust their medication. In the past I used to think that "if only I got a new job, I'll get better...or if only this or that happend I'll get better", but the truth is it never does. I've been trying to go to speed dating a lot in the last 6 months or so to see if a relationship would make things better. But to sum everything up, I've said yes to seeing like 58 of all the girl's I've met, 57 said no. One said yes, but then started to avoid answering me once we were talking about meeting up. So I have no confidence whatsoever in that department either. So to sum everything up, I have no clue what to do anymore, and i'm pretty sure I will die in depression, it's just a matter of time. And people don't understand, I almost never smile or laugh, and people whine about it, and then they say that when they had depression they could smile and laugh, and they make it sound as if it's my choice. Life aint easy :-\
Something Stebro said is something that bothers me as well, especially about the recent marketing we have seen. I know they mean well, but when ads say things like 1 in 3 people will suffer from depression in their life it kind if trivializes it and I feel it makes people think that what they went through when they were feeling a little down is what it is like for people with real problems, when it is really much worse.
I hope that made sense, I'm writing this quickly on my phone.
And Stebro, I know it's tough, especially when you have nobody to talk to because you are worried they will treat you differently even though they mean well. All I can suggest is that if you have tried everything else then you might want to consider medication, as less than desirable as that may be. I know people who were worried they wouldn't be themselves ever again, but if you don't like it you can always stop taking it and you will become yourself again very quickly.
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I hope that made sense, I'm writing this quickly on my phone.
And Stebro, I know it's tough, especially when you have nobody to talk to because you are worried they will treat you differently even though they mean well. All I can suggest is that if you have tried everything else then you might want to consider medication, as less than desirable as that may be. I know people who were worried they wouldn't be themselves ever again, but if you don't like it you can always stop taking it and you will become yourself again very quickly.
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Stebro said:
Well you're not a victim if it's something you can't control. It's hard, I know it is. I really get your overlap: Everything is amplified, especially when things go wrong or people dislike you, it feels like the end of the world, and it sucks.
Getting into a romantic relationship is not the way to go to treat yourself, Stebro. It's great being in a relationship, don't get me wrong, but it's kind of where I'm at right now: There are things I want to get a handle on beforehand.
I had medication before and found it didn't do much than to just kind of dull my thinking.
So yeah, I have no answers unfortunately. Just the ability to talk about my own experiences.
Stebro said:
There's lots of help available on this. One thing you might consider is checking that out. Maybe you already have some and more is needed. And I don't mean just "go out and find a magic pill" It's a common illness that a lot of people have and finding out more about it can be helpful because you understand it better and more importantly, you learn what can be done about it better. Having said that, I realize that when you're in a funk, you don't always like to dwell on this stuff. It's just one idea for you to reconsider.
You can look up advice like this:
link
Generally, that's not bad advice though I have not scrutinized that particular article. It saves me some typing ...
I do like the idea of talking with someone about it because that can sometimes help. But if it's putting you into a downward spin, move on to other things for a while.
If the spirit is not feeling good, then addressing the physical side with eating and sleeping can definitely help.
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/diet-recovery
http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips
Chatting with a dietitian and/or a good homeopath for good supplements can help there for quality improvement that is convenient for you. There are sleep clinics that can help - and I don't mean popping sleeping pills.
Exercise produces endorphins and an overall improvement in your sense of wellbeing which help
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression
Those physical things help the brain and from that, your mood. It's a constructive step because you are taking care of you and you should feel better about that.
Some of their other points are sensible and also might help.
But the one I've found most useful for helping people feeling as you do is the "get moving" idea. Yes, it's easier said than done when you don't feel like it. But time and again, it's seemed to help.
If you're "busy", you don't have time to think about your mood, so the snowballing of a bad mood to a worse mood can get arrested and it improves your chances of going on to do something else constructive or something that makes you happier than you are.
What I've proposed is one writes down a list of stuff they might like to do. Maybe not too ambitious to start. You're not stuck with it as you can update it as other ideas pop into your head later. "Getting laid" might be on nearly every guys list but I'd leave that one for the moment as if you knock off the other things on your list, it may very well or eventually lead there.
These ideas can be pretty simple to start and might align with some of the above like
- going for a walk or a bike ride - exercise is good and so is the fresh air - maybe go watch some kids playing in a park or playing a game
- getting out to a restaurant you might be interested in checking out - you're getting out and also treating yourself to eating a good meal
- if you're looking for ideas for your list, check things like this out for your area (I realize you're on the other side of the pond)
http://www.nowtoronto.com/
http://www.toronto.com/articles/whats-on-this-week-in-toronto/
but I'm sure the newspapers in your area would have ideas like the above because they're trying to get people out to the events
(that list helped my marriage get out of a funk)
- volunteering is an awesome activity I think
http://www.volunteertoronto.ca/volunteers/
because you realize there are a lot of people worse off than you and you can get a great buzz helping them ... and in your case, your chances are better at meeting a nice girl who is helping people out.
- joining a sports or hobby club (a hobby you always wanted to do but never took the time) gets you doing things you like and integrating with new people
- maybe taking a course in some subject that always interested you - and you might connect with the students there as a new social outlet, and you might meet a nice girl there
- etc
If you do one of those things and it isn't your cup of tea, do something else. Maybe try a bunch to find which things work for you. I do like "new" things because you have little past association with them that might hang you up.
I'm sure is easy for me to say "get started" and not as easy for a depressed person to do but once you get moving, I think doing other things will get easier and you'll feel better.
It's not depressing to consider that the world is your oyster, Stebro, and you can do whatever you want. And the sooner you get moving doing the things you want to do, the sooner the clouds of depression will dissipate or lighten up.
Hope that helps. All the best.
Boston Leaf
New member
Sad to read this... Stebro have you ever tried a 12 step program? Not sure it would help but definitely cant hurt. I have battled depression in and out for many years. A lot of mine stemmed from extremely low self esteem.. aslo getting beaten up emotionally by the nuns in grade school back in the 70's.. I then became addicted to gambling.. Ruined my life for years. Due to a 12 step program I have been clean a day at a time for almost 18 years. It defintitely helped me big time with my depression and anxiety. It is not totally gone but the lengths and severitys of the bouts are no one near what they once were.....
AlmosGirl
New member
Stebro, some good advice here and I'll just add that just because you ask for help, doesn't make you a "victim". And I know what you are saying about not trusting the medication. My daughter has anxiety and believe me, in the beginning, I was adamant about no meds as well but when we saw the state that she was in, there was no other way. We have our daughter back and I can't tell you where she would have ended without it. She is in her final year of high school and progressing towards going to university. I know it's not the same for everyone, but it's worth the try.
Again, big hugs.
Again, big hugs.
So i finally found a label to something i've experienced as a child that's unnerved me on so many nights growing up - Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. All this time i thought it was just me, and 30 years later, I find out it's pretty common!
I used to go to bed and strange, but not-yet terrifying sensations used to come over me. It was sort of out of body accompanied by hallucinations of the impossibilities of the infinitely huge and of the preposterously tiny all at once. Like the idea of balancing a planet on the head of a pin. Often they would be accompanied by distortions of sound, perhaps the closing of a door somewhere else, but that sound would be magnified to anxiety producing levels in my mind, and sometimes, as someone else said, voices that sound like they are an echo of an echo. Pretty disturbing for a little kid, i used to get dreadful feelings when it happened. And as I used to be fascinated by my dad's OMNI and Science Digest magazines when i was little, all those sensations of spatial distortion coupled with whatever little i could understand from those magazines about quantum physics and atoms, it probably made things worse and could get rather frightening at times.
Apparently, it's believed to be caused by changes in the brain as one is going through childhood and affects perception, hence the Alice in Wonderland reference. It went away by the time i reached high school though.
I used to go to bed and strange, but not-yet terrifying sensations used to come over me. It was sort of out of body accompanied by hallucinations of the impossibilities of the infinitely huge and of the preposterously tiny all at once. Like the idea of balancing a planet on the head of a pin. Often they would be accompanied by distortions of sound, perhaps the closing of a door somewhere else, but that sound would be magnified to anxiety producing levels in my mind, and sometimes, as someone else said, voices that sound like they are an echo of an echo. Pretty disturbing for a little kid, i used to get dreadful feelings when it happened. And as I used to be fascinated by my dad's OMNI and Science Digest magazines when i was little, all those sensations of spatial distortion coupled with whatever little i could understand from those magazines about quantum physics and atoms, it probably made things worse and could get rather frightening at times.
Apparently, it's believed to be caused by changes in the brain as one is going through childhood and affects perception, hence the Alice in Wonderland reference. It went away by the time i reached high school though.
One week ago today I poured gasoline all over myself and had the lighter in my hand when my wife jumped in. Off to hospital I went for a week, 3 of those days on a Form 1, meaning I was locked in by a psychiatrist. A week later, I feel like a new man - just discharged from hospital. I need to get into a good routine of walking, healthy food, and getting up at the same time each morning. It's been a scary ride, but I'm glad I didn't go through with it...
hockeyfan1
New member
Frank E said:
My goodness Rick, God must have been with you, you're incredibly lucky that your wife came out just in time.
Keep up and keep strong, and never give up. Godspeed.
hockeyfan1
New member
Speaking on the subject of anxiety and depression, it is now known that the co-pilot who intentionally crashed the Germanwings airplane carrying all 150 people on board to a horrifying death, had mental illness problems and was deemed mentally unfit to fly an aircraft.
Andreas Lubitz, a 27 yr. old with plenty of training & flying experience, locked the cockpit door of the Germanwings airliner to keep out the captain (pilot) who had transferred controls to Lubitz after leaving his seat briefly (possibly for the lavatory or other important errand, it's not clear). The cockpit door was made of steel and kevlar and could not be opened from the exterior, only from the interior of the cockpit. Therefore, Lubitz seemed to have had every intention of wrongdoing and plunged the plane from a high of 35,000 feet, crashing the plane and all screaming passengers into smithereens right into the mountains of the French Alps.
There is nothing more terrifying than not being able to stop what you know will be imminent death, particularly in an aircraft literally falling from the sky.
Lubitz, according to media reports, had flown before, but his mental problems were unbeknownsed to Lufthansa (Germanwings parent company). Investigators searched the home of Lubitz and found disconcerting proof that Lubitz had these recurrent problems and medical papers indicated that he had been ordered to stop flying by his doctors.
As of yesterday, CNN reported that Lubitz, according to sources, had a fear of losing his pilot license if he came forward with his medical/psychiatric problems.
Nevertheless, the families of loved ones who lost their lives in this senseless act, are planning to sue Lufthansa due to oversight on ignoring or not checking any medical records that should have or should be included in the general checkup of a pilot alongside his training record, flight experience, and any other thorough checklist that should be there.
Perhaps if Lufthansa had done what the people say they should have, this may not have happened. Or, perhaps it might have just the same. There is no easy answer. Now, about that cockpit door....
Sources: CBC, CNN
Andreas Lubitz, a 27 yr. old with plenty of training & flying experience, locked the cockpit door of the Germanwings airliner to keep out the captain (pilot) who had transferred controls to Lubitz after leaving his seat briefly (possibly for the lavatory or other important errand, it's not clear). The cockpit door was made of steel and kevlar and could not be opened from the exterior, only from the interior of the cockpit. Therefore, Lubitz seemed to have had every intention of wrongdoing and plunged the plane from a high of 35,000 feet, crashing the plane and all screaming passengers into smithereens right into the mountains of the French Alps.
There is nothing more terrifying than not being able to stop what you know will be imminent death, particularly in an aircraft literally falling from the sky.
Lubitz, according to media reports, had flown before, but his mental problems were unbeknownsed to Lufthansa (Germanwings parent company). Investigators searched the home of Lubitz and found disconcerting proof that Lubitz had these recurrent problems and medical papers indicated that he had been ordered to stop flying by his doctors.
As of yesterday, CNN reported that Lubitz, according to sources, had a fear of losing his pilot license if he came forward with his medical/psychiatric problems.
Nevertheless, the families of loved ones who lost their lives in this senseless act, are planning to sue Lufthansa due to oversight on ignoring or not checking any medical records that should have or should be included in the general checkup of a pilot alongside his training record, flight experience, and any other thorough checklist that should be there.
Perhaps if Lufthansa had done what the people say they should have, this may not have happened. Or, perhaps it might have just the same. There is no easy answer. Now, about that cockpit door....
Sources: CBC, CNN