Stebro said:
I just dont wanna be seen as some victim. I've had depression for over 10 years in a row now. And the doctors keep telling me I will get better and I don't believe them, and I don't trust their medication. In the past I used to think that "if only I got a new job, I'll get better...or if only this or that happend I'll get better", but the truth is it never does. I've been trying to go to speed dating a lot in the last 6 months or so to see if a relationship would make things better. But to sum everything up, I've said yes to seeing like 58 of all the girl's I've met, 57 said no. One said yes, but then started to avoid answering me once we were talking about meeting up. So I have no confidence whatsoever in that department either. So to sum everything up, I have no clue what to do anymore, and i'm pretty sure I will die in depression, it's just a matter of time. And people don't understand, I almost never smile or laugh, and people whine about it, and then they say that when they had depression they could smile and laugh, and they make it sound as if it's my choice. Life aint easy :-\
There's lots of help available on this. One thing you might consider is checking that out. Maybe you already have some and more is needed. And I don't mean just "go out and find a magic pill" It's a common illness that a lot of people have and finding out more about it can be helpful because you understand it better and more importantly, you learn what can be done about it better. Having said that, I realize that when you're in a funk, you don't always like to dwell on this stuff. It's just one idea for you to reconsider.
You can look up advice like this:
link
Generally, that's not bad advice though I have not scrutinized that particular article. It saves me some typing ...
I do like the idea of talking with someone about it because that can sometimes help. But if it's putting you into a downward spin, move on to other things for a while.
If the spirit is not feeling good, then addressing the physical side with eating and sleeping can definitely help.
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/diet-recovery
http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips
Chatting with a dietitian and/or a good homeopath for good supplements can help there for quality improvement that is convenient for you. There are sleep clinics that can help - and I don't mean popping sleeping pills.
Exercise produces endorphins and an overall improvement in your sense of wellbeing which help
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/exercise-depression
Those physical things help the brain and from that, your mood. It's a constructive step because you are taking care of you and you should feel better about that.
Some of their other points are sensible and also might help.
But the one I've found most useful for helping people feeling as you do is the "get moving" idea. Yes, it's easier said than done when you don't feel like it. But time and again, it's seemed to help.
If you're "busy", you don't have time to think about your mood, so the snowballing of a bad mood to a worse mood can get arrested and it improves your chances of going on to do something else constructive or something that makes you happier than you are.
What I've proposed is one writes down a list of stuff they might like to do. Maybe not too ambitious to start. You're not stuck with it as you can update it as other ideas pop into your head later. "Getting laid" might be on nearly every guys list but I'd leave that one for the moment as if you knock off the other things on your list, it may very well or eventually lead there.
These ideas can be pretty simple to start and might align with some of the above like
- going for a walk or a bike ride - exercise is good and so is the fresh air - maybe go watch some kids playing in a park or playing a game
- getting out to a restaurant you might be interested in checking out - you're getting out and also treating yourself to eating a good meal
- if you're looking for ideas for your list, check things like this out for your area (I realize you're on the other side of the pond)
http://www.nowtoronto.com/
http://www.toronto.com/articles/whats-on-this-week-in-toronto/
but I'm sure the newspapers in your area would have ideas like the above because they're trying to get people out to the events
(that list helped my marriage get out of a funk)
- volunteering is an awesome activity I think
http://www.volunteertoronto.ca/volunteers/
because you realize there are a lot of people worse off than you and you can get a great buzz helping them ... and in your case, your chances are better at meeting a nice girl who is helping people out.
- joining a sports or hobby club (a hobby you always wanted to do but never took the time) gets you doing things you like and integrating with new people
- maybe taking a course in some subject that always interested you - and you might connect with the students there as a new social outlet, and you might meet a nice girl there
- etc
If you do one of those things and it isn't your cup of tea, do something else. Maybe try a bunch to find which things work for you. I do like "new" things because you have little past association with them that might hang you up.
I'm sure is easy for me to say "get started" and not as easy for a depressed person to do but once you get moving, I think doing other things will get easier and you'll feel better.
It's not depressing to consider that the world is your oyster, Stebro, and you can do whatever you want. And the sooner you get moving doing the things you want to do, the sooner the clouds of depression will dissipate or lighten up.
Hope that helps. All the best.
